My Rudimentary Relationship with Media 😩

Hello! My name is Nyquis. Oooo...I bet you pronounced that wrong, didn't you?  My name's pronounced (Nī -kēēs). It's like an iamb. 'Ny' is unstressed, and 'quis' is stressed.

Now that I've got your attention, I'd like to talk to you about...media! Uh-huh. That's what this is about. Like most people -if not everyone- media plays a significant role in my life. Some of my favorite platforms -or apps- are YouTube, Instagram, and Netflix. And sometimes I even like to use TikTok...despite the fact that I haven't even posted on there since I created my account... Anyway, media is something I've lived with my entire life, so, in my 16 years of life, I have come to develop a nuanced relationship with it.

To be completely honest with you, I don't particularly love my relationship with media. Don't get me wrong. I like to watch YouTube videos and go on Instagram, but something about these things just upsets me. Maybe it's the insane amount of pressure to post things. Maybe it's just the inevitable amount of insecurity the lives of others makes me feel. Or maybe I'm just hungry. Yeah...I'm definitely just hungry. But who cares!

What I like about media is how conflicting yet helpful it is. Thanks to media, I am able to work on building my confidence -which my dearth of is really hindering my ability to appreciate myself. On TikTok I comment stuff on videos that I find most intriguing, which I never would have done before. I mostly just comment the first thing that comes to mind, and, surprisingly, I actually get likes!

Even so, media also causes my confidence to waver at the same time. Sometimes -well, most times- I feel my pictures aren't "good enough" to post on my Instagram. To this day I still haven't posted a picture of myself on my account, except for a fetus pic. I was really cute until I grew up....

Haaaa...don't we love a good contradiction. It makes the world go round. But, the best part about media is knowing that other people are most likely experiencing the same things as I am. Sometimes it's feels good to know I'm not the only person stricken with embarrassment for myself and those around me. Lol.  

I even appreciate how inspirational -though sometimes discouraging- media can be. As an aspiring artist, I like being able to see the artwork of others on Instagram and gain inspiration from them in the hopes of furthering my abilities in the subject. Unfortunately, my lack of motivation and increased amounts of stress in my everyday life tends to get in the way of that. 

YouTube is another thing that helps contribute to a lot of my problems. I mean, what's with all the ads! But it does makes me happy to watch my favorite YouTubers. I'll talk about them in a separate post.

I've also realized how detrimental media has been to my education. Much of the time I'd watch Netflix or YouTube when I should be doing my homework. But then again, why do my homework now when I can do it in the morning right before school? Just kidding! But seriously, I need to step my game up 'cause I really don't wanna end sophomore year with F's. At the rate I'm going, I'm going to need a loooot of self-discipline. Uuuuuggghhh...somebody pray for me.

In the end, most people may or may not have a similar relationship with media as I do. And I'm sure that it'll evolve as life goes on. But that doesn't matter 'cause it's all just rudimentary.